How I Spent My Week

I definitely enjoyed my "time off" relaxing with Tom and the puppies. We didn't really do much of anything beyond a crazy day of house cleaning, work on the playroom and lots of puppy snuggling! Just how I like to spend my time :)  Among those lovely things I found out I have severe anemia, which is common in pregnancy, and am now taking a lovely iron supplement daily in addition to my prenatal vitamin. I had my 36 (almost 37..in two days) week doctor's appointment and little man is measuring almost 39 WEEKS! Holy COW! I may be giving birth to a linebacker here folks. We shall see. This was based off of my fundal height (top of the uterus) which they measure at each appointment. He's definitely jumped the scale I do believe and that probably explains why I feel like I do. Constant pressure, constant pain..and a heck of a lot of stretch marks :) On the plus side though, and this was a huge shocker to me as I've been eating like a frat boy, I finally LOOKED at the scale yesterday at the doctor's office. I've been closing my eyes each weigh in as I don't want to fixate on the number itsself, but she said it out loud yesterday so I had no choice but to know/look. I HAVEN'T GAINED A SINGLE POUND IN 4 WEEKS!!!! How cool/ strange is that?! I was thrilled! And then immediately wanted ice cream hahha :)

Anyways. I don't have much to say (our taxes STILL aren't done..oopsie) so I will leave you with some pictures from the past week ! Oh and btw..where did winter go? It's BEAUTIFUL here in central VA today!

THIS my friends is my favorite :) Up in the playroom (yes I realize my child won't USE the playroom on his own for years, but we still wanted a place to keep all the baby/kid toys and paraphernalia) Tom painted whiteboard paint and then framed out with some trim which he handpainted AND hand stenciled. He is so crafty sometimes I don't even know what to do with him. Those are crabs (EOD Insignia). He printed off a picture of a crab online, cut it out with his exacto knife, and painted them in ! Homemade stencil! He then hand drew the eyes, shell separation and added a red back to each crab. He is pretty awesome. Our son is a lucky little dude! And so am I :)

Tom adding a scoreboard he made from whiteboard paint and trim, for his dart board in the game room!

Loving on her wittle brother :)

YAY! One of our Christmas presents from my parents. They never used this pool table so dad drove it up to us here in VA from MO during the holiday! WE LOVE IT ! And Tom is GOOD.

36 and some change. Measuring 39 weeks. he's low..and he's large. And there's my stretch marks in all their glory.

Black hurrr, don't currrr. Finally back to my "normal" hair. Never let me go blonde again. Just not do-able with a baby.

Dear Me, Circa 2009

 Today I'm trying to do a little self-help sesh after a minor breakdown in front of the mirror last night. After taking my 35 week photo, I posted it on Facebook. There should be a warning on your Facebook app that says "Do not scroll through old photos of your pre-pregnant self. Self inflicted pain may follow!" 

Ay yi yi was it a rude awakening. 

Pregnancy isn't beautiful for everyone. I truly wish I could be one of the "lucky" ones who wakes up on d-day with zero stretch marks, and maybe 20 pounds gained but I am far from that. My stomach feels and looks like it's been attacked by a jungle creature with talons, my face is nearly unrecognizable to myself anymore due to the swelling and extra fluid/weight I'm carrying around, and my small waist is no longer able to be found. Wow. I sound pretty superficial and shallow, maybe I am or maybe I'm finally realizing just how good I once had it. I always thought of myself as the "chubby" girl in the room. I've got a love for food and eating, and bread has and always probably will be my vice. I don't love the gym, or working out..and would rather burn calories by running errands during the day or running around the mall shopping vs. running on a treadmill. I used to seriously think I was hideous, overweight and disgusting. I would never wear swimsuits and if I did I made sure it was to a place like the lake or a pool party where 99% of the people would be just drunk enough not to notice the cellulite on the backs of my legs. Sad isn't it? Wake up call old me..you were skinny. Yes. Skinny. May not have been 100 pounds or as skinny as your roommates BUT you were healthy, beautiful..and had an awesome body. 

So. That brings me to today. I woke up and after spending 5 minutes hoisting myself out of bed and looking in the mirror I decided I'd take some time to write myself a letter. I realize this letter will never make it back to the good ol' days (where the heck is time travel, its 2012?!) but the me of today needs to read it. Maybe this will serve as some motivation for post-baby or maybe it will serve me best at this moment to be able to look back and reflect on how things used to be..and be grateful, since I wasn't back then.

*I will preface this letter by saying I am trying my hardest to embrace the "beauty" of pregnancy. My baby boy is an amazing blessing, and this self image issue that I'm dealing with is only part of the process of getting him here. It is worth it but sometimes..you just need to cry it out a little. Pass no judgement. I am willing to bet each and every one of you reading this has dealt with body image issues at least once in your life. Maybe you should write yourself a letter as well :)*

 1/19/2012

Dear Me,                                                                                                                              

As I sit here now, on the brink of being 9 months pregnant with your first child (how weird is that to say?), I thought it'd be appropriate to write you a letter. I wish I could literally send this back through time so you can appreciate who you, and how you feel while you are reading this. Pregnancy does absolutely amazing and terrifying things to your body and I wish I could slap your mouth each time you spew a "I'm so fat" or any other comment related to how hideous you think your body is. Every single thing you find wrong with yourself.. all an illusion. I know this sounds insane, and it is, but please know that you are beautiful. You may not be a size zero, or be six foot like your supermodel sister..but you've got it SO good my dear. If you could see the stretch marks on your stomach NOW, the size of your butt, the number on the scale and most definitely the feeling of your thighs rubbing together..I promise you you'd feel like Heidi Klum. Image isn't everything, but being healthy in your body..and in your mind..is. This pregnancy has been a huge struggle for me deep down. Each day when I get up and see a new tiger stripe on my belly, boobs, thighs and virtually anywhere that skin is (yes..everywhere) I feel like the most hideous thing in the world. It is all MORE than worth it to be bringing a life and child into the world and into your soon to be family, but it is a daily struggle. Body image issues are something I thought I dealt with in the past, but in reality it was never bad at all. This letter may make zero sense to anyone who hasn't been here before, where I stand (sit) today, but it makes sense to me..and if I could send this back a few years to you I hope you'd understand as well. You look amazing.. you feel amazing..and the person we are today here in 2012 is SO anxious to get back to the 2009 Sarah (body wise anyways). Never take it for granted!

Love, 

Me

Pregnant Pitty Party. Guest list, Me.

Expires on my Due Date! Which really is closer to the 16th now.

Today is one of those days. I've got my induction date (roundabout anyways) from the doctors and now I literally sit here and dwell on the time. The nursery is complete. The house, a waste to deep clean now with a messy husband and two furry dogs. Shopping, out of the question. Decorating and organizing the house, also..primarily done. So now I just sit. This place is miserable as it is in the middle of NO where. The weather isn't nice enough to go outside and walk without being bundled like a snowman, and my only friend here who I hang out with is also feeling the pregnant misery. I feel like a whale and LORD HAVE MERCY if I go through my Facebook pictures from oh..9 months ago I'm liable to cry myself into next week. Pregnancy changes your body in ways NO one ever likes to tell you upfront. All those people who can get by with "the glow" are full of shit. Oh and the "glow" is really SWEAT from hauling my fat rear end up and down the stairs all day. Yes.. one flight. I'm a mess.

Don't mind me..just chillin on the beach.

SO long story short. I'm bored. Annoyed with time going by so slow and feel like I can't enjoy the rest of my "alone" time because of my stinky mood. I know I know, those of you reading this who have been there done that are thinking..you'll miss this. I'm sure I will. What I won't miss? Not being able to eat a full meal without wanting to die of suffocation immediately after, getting up a million times during my "sleep" (HA) to pee 10 times because my child is using my bladder as a punching bag, not being able to walk up the stairs or heaven forbid even get out of BED in the mornings because my bones (in a not so special place) feel as if they could crumble and POOF into a dustball at any time.. and definitely MOST definitely won't miss the false labor/practice labor/NOT REAL LABOR contractions that decide to hit me in the back and stomach on an hourly basis.

Thank you for letting me vent. 

NOW. Onto brighter things.

(excuse the bi-polar feel of this post, this is my world folks..ain't always swingsets and rainbows)

Wanted to share with y'all a fun little blog my wedding planner Meredith and her husband Jake have started called Reilly and Copper! Mer (or LA MER as I like to call her) lives in Franklin, TN, near Nashville, and is as I said an event planner! Jake owns his own landscaping company called Elements of Eden, and the two little cuties have two fur babies Reilly and Copper. 

Jake, Meredith and Reilly (Copper is a new installation to the Zeller Fam)

They started this blog, which focuses on both lifestyle, DIY, various projects around their home and yard and the chronicles of their adorable doggies here recently. I'd love for you to go check them out and see all the fun things they do together :) I have to hand it to Meredith..if Tom were home all day everyday with me I'd probably be in jail..and there would DEFINITELY be one less x-box in the world ;)

Today Mer&Jake have put up one of their "Spark Boards" which is an inspiration board they create before doing any home projects and re-decorating to "Spark" some creative flow :) Catchy huh? 

Today at R&C they're showing off their most recent Spark Board for their living room re-do. The transformation is ABSOLUTELY amazing from when Meredith first lived in their home alone..to what it is today! Totally chic, elegant and very well put together.

You can see it here!!!

Anyhoo, head over and check them out..let them know that I sent you and subscribe to their feed!!! AWESOME stuff ;)

Reilly and Copper